Midterm

Ok...it's already been 6 weeks?! For real?? That flew by quicker than I expected. Last weekend was the ZOE Conference which was when my friends came to visit me!!! Here's a pic of me and my friend Kari

Anywho, it's crazy to think I'm halfway through my first semester of college. It's definitely had it's bumps, but I'm finally starting to get settled in I think. I know my friends and family back home won't forget about me, replace me etc etc. And I came to realize that I was making myself miserable without realizing it. It's almost as if I didn't want them to think I was so happy without them and wouldn't need them. Funny logic-huh? As everyone's told me (which now I really get it), college is a rite of passage everyone goes through, you do a lot of changing-so hold on tight and enjoy the ride.

On other news, I get to visit my cousin next weekend that'll be soo much fun!!!! They have a kitchen so maybe I'll get to cook something...I'm going through cooking/baking withdrawls it's like part of me is missing because I can't do it. This weekend will be full of relaxing and trying to stay dry since we've had some moments where it felt like it was time to bring in the ark! Will update later, but for now it's time to read for Seminar...

Study Break

I've already been at it for awhile, and I've actually been productive-so it was time for a break. I'm realizing more and more how uncertain life is which is kind of intimidating but at the same time I know that somehow it's all gonna be ok.

I'm honestly not in love with my major...but I need to at least stick it through this year. Over the course of this year I need to make as many connections as possible because there's no promises that I'll actually get to come back especially with how money has been. This is my chance to get into the music industry, that is if that's what God wants me to do with my life...still trying to figure that one out. I'm trying to keep my head up and eyes on God-it feels like He's really been testing me this week to see just how much I can handle...but the fact that I've got all this in front of me tells me that I can handle it otherwise God wouldn't have put it there...hope that makes sense...

I'm excited to see some of my Colorado friends this weekend it's been too long and it'll be nice to see some familiar faces!!! :D

And as my Head Resident Assistant writes in her emails to all the girls in the dorm:

"When you feel like giving up, remember why you held on in the first place"

Blue Moon of Kentucky

Well, after a fun-filled weekend in Kentucky, it's back to work...here's some pics of the mischief we got into...mind you it was about 3 in the morning, I was a bit out of it, and we had already devoured most of a funfetti cake.

This week is going to go by incredibly slow, but fast at the same time. In three days, my friends are coming to visit and I'm soo excited!!!! They'll get in Thursday and leave Sunday, but it's been a good month and a half since I've seen them. This week will be full of practicing and hopefully if I'm lucky I'll even get a nap in tomorrow afternoon!

Oh and here's some pics of what's been going on-These are for you Aunt Chris :D

Me and LeAnn going to the Luke Bryan and David Nail concert!!

Friends :D

Yay for roomies!!!

Back on Track

So I realize I've been neglecting my blog...I'll do much better I promise!!

I'm sitting in the floor of my new friend Taylor's friends house. We're in Kentucky, which I think this is the second time I've ever been to Kentucky, exciting-oh yes! And the common theme everywhere I've been for the past month or so is RAIN. It's like there's a little cloud following me around. Not that I'm complaining but it certainly does NOT help the uncoordinated get to class (that would be me in case you didn't catch that). I'm tired of the bottoms of my jeans being soaked, but I have rainboots...if only they went with everything in my wardrobe...

So, what's been going on in my life...well there's this thing called college that is supposedly supposed to be life changing or something...but ya I just finished week 5 and I'm still alive this is an accomplishment to be celebrated. Nashville is awesome and I love Lipscomb, but I've come to realize that Colorado is home...I know it's a duh statement but I didn't think I'd really miss Colorado-I mean I knew I'd miss my friends and family but I didn't realize I'd DESPERATELY MISS my friends and family and the mountains and the ice cold rain rather than the lukewarm stuff that falls from the sky around here. I especially miss my church family. I knew they were amazing, I did!! But I still didn't quite realize how good I had it there. I've been going to Woodmont which is good and everything, but it's not Littleton. I miss having that connection and knowing that one step into the building and I'd be surrounded by people who would be there for me and would do anything for me because of the love they have for me through Jesus Christ. People don't get it down here-there's a Bible Belt mentality that I never really saw until now. God is in this little box that people take out on Sunday mornings and Wednesday nights and they sing the songs and close their eyes during prayers...but there's not connection. Don't get me wrong, Woodmont is the closest I've found to Littleton. I feel that they're seeking God in everything that they do and I love that!! But I will definitely be looking forward to coming home and getting to worship at Littleton and be reunited with my church family that I love more than anything.

Now, all that being said, I know that this is where I need to be at the moment...even if it's not always where I want to be. God is taking me through this journey and He's teaching me some things that I need to learn. Recently, I've really noticed how I need to "sit down and shut up" and just listen to what He has to say instead of talking away about how I want things to go and about how I can't hear Him (once again, if I'd shut up I might actually hear something). If I can just listen, I learn a lot more. I've began to notice how much I rely on other people and how scared I am of being alone. This has now become my time to draw close to God and realize that no matter what, He's the one I need to rely on and draw close to in all my times of need-though God did give me the relationships I have with people and those are to be cherished as well, when things are going really bad rather than going to my best friend to share my insecurities, fears and doubts, I need to go to Him because He's the one who's going to take care of it all. There's so many things that I want to happen, but I can't control them. This has led me to quesiton, do I belong in music? Is that truly what God wants? There are so many questions unanswered right now, but I'm learining to be ok with it because that's where I'm supposed to be right now. It's not my job to have everything figured out-it's my job to follow Jesus and his plan that He has for me.

WHEW!! K, I needed to let that out. Anywho, on a lighter note :D my friends are coming next weekend and I'm so STOKED to see them. And as for classes, they're all going pretty good so far...all my tests have been A's and I'm performing in a student recital in the next couple weeks.

Oh, and here's my countdown:
5 days till my friends come
19 days till I see my cousins
56 days till Thanksgiving
82 days till Christmas Break!!!!!!!!! :D

I'll be checking in more often-I promise!!

My blog is a complete mess!!!!! It will hopefully be fixed soon and if I'm lucky I might even manage to get some pics up... :0)

Bored....

So, I'm sitting in a class and the network is down so no one can get to their documents and thus can't do a single thing work related. And now, I'm bored out of my mind...I've already checked both email accounts, looked at some blogs, checked the church news, looked to see when church camp is this summer and how much it'll be, and checked my grades...I'M BORED!!!!!! I don't wanna work on scholarships cause last time that happened I almost got in trouble-bad news bears!

Anyways, whatever I'm happy just sitting listening to music. So last week was definitely one of the rougher weeks I've had but now it's on to a new week with a great cause :0) This week is wish week at my school, and we're sponsoring a kid who has fibromyalgia and wants to go to DisneyWorld. Tonight the singing group from CU the Buffoons is coming to perform, and all ticket sales go to the cause. Everyone gets into the whole process, and it's great being able to know that we as a school fulfilled a little boy's dream. Besides that, this week will be packed!!!! I've got the usual rehearsal stuff/lessons/church stuff which usually has me runnin around like crazy, but this week I also get to pack for Texas for next week!!!!!! Yay!!! I'm hopin to see my aunts again but we'll just see how everything pans out...Oh and my best friend is most likely coming if math goes well for her this week....haha. I've actually missed being in Texas, and I'm lookin forward to being back for a little bit.

Well...hmmm lets see....what else to write...I find out about scholarship info I think by the end of the month. oh crap the networks workin bye!

March Rush

I have never been more ready for a break than I am now. I swear life never slows down-not that that's a problem, but lately, everything has exploded in my face. Things have not gone how I planned AT ALL. But, that tends to happen when I forget to actually ask God what the plan is for my life instead of taking the reins myself. Especially the past couple weeks, I'm losing it!

First, this guy (yes it's always about a guy isn't it) who seemed to like me did the whole backtracking thing that guys are sooo good at. Ok, fine I tell myself I can handle it-he stopped talkin to me that's fine. And then he strikes up a conversation a week later asking if I'm comin to state for basketball-like I actually knew they were goin to state?! But he didn't want me to have to move things in my schedule blah blah blah. Whatever, if he's interested in me, he'll try harder, if not, I'm leaving in about 5 months.

Then, this whole other thing blows up in my face with some of my closest friends in yg and they all blame me for everything and I can't fix it. I want to, but I'm so tired of saying sorry when it's not my fault. I've gotta fix it somehow though...it's killin me that they're mad at me (people pleaser that's me). I definitely the phrase "agree to disagree" will have to fit this situation.

It might not sound like a lot, but it just wears me out along with the musical at school (Damn Yankees), music lessons, school, church stuff, a wedding last week-you get the picture. And I just want so badly to do what's right and pleasing to God, but I forget to actually ask Him, I mean it's not like He disappears into thin air-He's always there. I've been actually readin The Prayer of Jabez again after seein my cousin Jenny in Nashville when I went down a couple weekends ago (pics hopefully to follow...if I can figure out how to get them off my phone) and that truly has been inspirational to incorporate that into my life. If you haven't read it, or haven't read it in awhile, I'd definitely recommend it.

With all of this, I know it will be ok in the end and this is only part of the journey. God won't give me more than I can handle. But I just struggle with how I'm making a difference in the world. Am I helping at all? And with that, do I think about myself too much? Shouldn't I be helping other people and putting myself last? But how do I not focus on things I struggle with too? After all, I need to hold myself accountable before I even think about passing judgment on someone else. Point blank, it's just tough. But I know for a fact that I've never been closer to God than I am now, and the more I talk to Him, the better things will be.

Well, besides that, I'm headed back to visit family over break. And I think my best friend might even get to come along for the ride which would be awesome! Well, gotta go...it's gonna be a busy day I can already tell :)